1
There is a hard rain hitting the window outside. It is careening into it. The drops make a rhythmic tapping sound, a sound that is peaceful in its own violent way. The storm tonight is especially bad. Not that people would remember in the morning, except for Luna and me. Luna and I have been dating for nearly a year and a half now, and we love each other. We go as far as talking about marrying each other even though we are still sophomores in high school. Everyone’s memories fade away when they sleep. Nobody remembers anything from the previous day or anything before then in the morning when they wake up, except for us. Nobody has discovered why this has been happening. The memory loss started happening about one year before I was born, in 2024. Mass memory loss has something to do with how our brains work. Even though this has been happening for a while; nobody was prepared or knows why this happens. All people in the world know is that on July 22nd, 2024 mass memory loss started occurring. There are plenty of articles about it and what it is, people may read them every day if they wish, or never read them at all. It depends on the person.
I used to write down important things that I wanted to remember on my notes app on my phone every night so I would retain at least some knowledge from earlier in life or the previous day. This is how most of the people in the world remember important things. They write it down somewhere easily accessible. They write things down like where they go to school, or where they work, and what they need to do in life. But in a world where you don’t have any memories there is no point in doing anything. It’s like there’s no point in even getting up in the morning because you’re just going to forget it all the very next day.
Every night, or really any time before Luna or I go to sleep, we put on a certain frequency of white noise which enables us to keep our memories. The certain frequency is called green noise. Luna and I are what people would call “audiophiles,” which essentially means that we’re both captivated by getting the best audio quality from headphones while listening to music or other audio recordings.
I happened upon using green noise to keep memories because different frequencies of white noise have different effects on the brain and this primarily happens when you are sleeping. Since I am an audiophile I decided why not test it out? I fell asleep trying out different versions of white noise every night, when I got to green noise I made the jaw dropping discovery that I didn’t lose my memories of the day before. I was ecstatic, and immediately told Luna about it. This was a huge thing, but for some reason I did not want to share it with the world, I needed it to be me and Luna’s special thing. I don’t know what compelled me to make this decision besides my want to actually just genuinely get to know one person; and that one person being Luna.
We both agreed not to share it- *Kaboom*. The sudden thunder draws my thoughts back to my desk where I’m listening to music as I finish up some of my math homework. The song currently playing is The Man With the Child in His Eyes, by Kate Bush. A message from Luna appears in Discord.
Luna:Hey Scar, I’m going to bed now, good niiiiight. I will talk to you in the
morning.
Me:Okay I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Don’t forget to play your green noise. Good niiight
Luna is offline now, so I finish up my song and decide to go to bed as well. I slip in my earbuds, turn on my green noise playlist that’s 15 hrs long. It’s this long to ensure that I have enough time in the playlist for any situation, and slip into sleep.
Light floods into my room spilling a warm golden glow across my bedspread. My eyelids open shuddering like an old set of blinds. I wipe them and get ready for my day, brush my teeth and put on a fresh set of clothes. I boot up my P.C. in my small room on the second story of my parents house. I have some time to kill before school, which is kind of pointless because everyone else is just going to forget it all anyway. The reason, that at least all the adults say, for us going to school is tradition. However this is just a load of bs and everyone knows it. I then open Discord.
Me:hiiii gm baby!!!
Luna:Hello… who is this?
Suddenly I feel as though a sword plunges through my heart. I freeze and feel cold. This must be some kind of joke, right?
Me:You, you’re joking right?-
The sun is still pooling through my window hitting my bed. My eyes are widening. A tuft of black hair from my curtain bangs falls across my face blocking out my vision for a second. I sweep it out of the way.
Luna:No? I’m sorry, do I know you?
Me:Something happened, just read this article, it will explain it all.
I send a link to an article about the memory resets every day. Everyone knows about the memory reset, but scientists are still working on a permanent fix. They don’t seem to know that you should use sound for memory retention. I suppose that someone wrote the article in a day and then it was posted on the internet forever. I pick up my bag, baggy pants dragging on the ground creating a swishing sound ever so faintly as I walk out the door and down the stairs. I decided that it would be better for Luna and I to talk in person. It’s time to leave for school anyway. I suppose we still have school only because it is tradition, everyone but me and Luna don’t remember it. Breakfast is on the table when I walk into the dining room.
My mom greets me with the usual, “Hi, I don’t remember you, but I know you’re my son so I made you some breakfast,” she usually says something along these lines every morning.
“Thank you Mom,” I say, grabbing my toast and walking through the door onto the sidewalks on my run down, nearly all gray block. I start the trudge to school. It is just a mile and a half walk, and I’m used to it after doing it for so many days. The scenery does get boring after a while, nearly everything is gray, and all of the houses look similar.
On my walk I’m thinking about what I am going to say to Luna and listening to music. I’m torn, where do I even start on the year and a half that we have spent together while retaining our memories each day? I don’t know how to even start the recovery process of a year and a half of someone’s life. I panic on my walk, the anticipation and the weight of the situation is making me feel nauseous.
After some heavy thinking on my 30 minute walk I managed to come up with nothing.
“I guess I’ll just wing it,” I say to myself. The school is now in sight and as I get closer my hands start to shake. My head feels light, and I close my eyes, take a deep long breath.
When I arrive at school, everyone is looking down at their phones, which is where most people write all the essential information down to remember it for the next day. I left my written list at home. This is a list I keep just in case one day something goes wrong with my memory retention. I step, teetering like a sapling in the wind, towards my 1st period, in which I sit next to Luna.
“H- Hi Luna,” I say, voice shaking, “Did you read my article?” I feel like I’m on the verge of passing out. Am I just left alone in a world where nobody can remember? Am I just left here to go insane as people repeat themselves over and over again because they can’t remember what they said yesterday?
“Scarlett, I’m assuming? Yeah, I read your article. What about it?” Luna says with their pale white expressionless face. I can feel my eyes begin to form tears like clouds gathering in the sky about to rain.
“We have dated for a year and a half.”
My throat has that pain in it, when you try to talk and hold back tears at the same time, “I found a way for us to keep our memories, we did it every night, but last night you must have forgotten to turn on your green noise.”
“Okay, and? I wish I could help you, but I don’t remember anything,” she says with a blank face and pushes a strand of her hair out of the way. She really doesn’t remember anything at all, including her feelings for me. She has lost it all, I mean nothing to her now. I can’t take it any more, and tears and snot pour down my face. How can she not remember, did she not put a note to herself just in case? I flee the classroom, tears running down my face like the rain running into a storm drain. There has to be something I can do, something to fix all of this.
I half jog out of the school, without looking back trying to run away from everything. I retreat back to my house. By the time I get home, I am burnt out and done with the day. Maybe it’s just better to forget it all, to not have to feel any of this, to not remember. I step into the shower, put on my sad music mix. I wish by Boy With Uke starts playing. I get hit with another tsunami of sadness.
A wave of anger washes over me suddenly. Why did they do this, is it on purpose? I get upset and angry with Luna, but more upset and angry with myself for not being able to do anything in the moment. I smash my fingers into my phone and turn on Slipknot, People=shit starts playing. I rip open the fridge and pull out a pack of cheese. Why would they do this to me, is this her way of breaking up? I tear into the cheese. After I finish my cheese, I throw the empty pack back into the fridge.
I storm back up the stairs and fall onto my bed like a bag of stones. I am all out of energy. I can feel my eyes start to flutter shut. Wait. Should I put in my green noise, or should I just forget it all, forget the feeling of the second half of my soul leaving my body? I’m sure it would be better. No, no, I can’t bring myself to do it! Not yet, I have to try again, I have to try it all back for Luna. I slip in my earbuds, turn on my green noise, and fall into sleep.
I wake up to the sunset outside my window. I only have one window in my small room, which is almost all black with one desk and a hanging plant in front of my window. Other than that, there is just my bed and my closet. I turn on my P.C., and while it’s booting up, I grab some water to refresh my plant that I named Theodore. I go to my desk, open my browser, and start to dig on the internet for any solutions that might lead to the regaining of memories. Maybe there is a different white noise, like pink or blue noise to restore memories that are erased by sleep. In theory, that could work.
After a while, I hear my mom call me down for dinner. I wait 10 minutes before sneaking down and stealing a plate to bring back to my room. The dinner for the night was chicken tikka masala and it had a heavenly smell of spice that filled out my room and made me feel warm
inside. It made me feel comfortable and safe, despite my situation.
I stayed up all night clicking through links over and over. There was a massive rabbit hole of one day experiments on how to get memories back. All through the darkness of my room, only lit by my computer light, I click links and read over and over again. The time is 7:15 when the first sign of light beams through my window.
Discord:Luna sent you a message
I open the message, full of anxiety.
Luna:Hey, so I don’t know you anymore, obviously. I don’t really have any feelings for you anymore, But last night I was scrolling through my phone, and we seemed to be really really close. So I want to give you a second chance, or ask for a second chance myself. I do want to get to know you again-
Me:I guess that’s at least a start. Thanks for being understanding. I do want to have a second chance with you.
Relief washes over me. At least their personality didn’t change at all, that’s good. I ponder for a second and then get back to the conversation. Our conversation consisted of me explaining the green noise to Luna, to which they agreed to use, and then talking about how I was researching a way to get their memories back.
Even after a night of avid researching I had nothing. This was expected; one day experiments are not very consistent or correct. This means that I will have to use an app to trick my computer into thinking it is existing in a time before the memory resets start happening. This is only to access articles and links that no longer exist in this time, and to get better results when researching. By setting my computer back in time, I can access all the articles that are of experiments that were not inconsistent or conducted in a day. Allowing me to get better information.
I set my computer to 2019, and type ‘memory restoration’. A lot of articles about the disease Dementia and Alzheimer’s come up. These diseases cause memory loss. This was a good place to start digging. I find that some electromagnetic pulse (EMP) treatment can restore parts of the brain retaining memories, something called neurofeedback. I suppose this will work, if done correctly. I just need a way to get my hands on the very expensive equipment required to do neurofeedback. I can use my mom’s credit card no problem. She never spends anything on herself, because of the memory loss. Because of this she is rich.
I research all the necessary components to perform neurofeedback. There are lots of complicated parts involved, but all of them are legally purchasable on the internet. This is good news as I won’t be committing any crimes. Next is convincing Luna to actually go through with this; not that there is any risk, but it’s still a very odd request from a stranger. I’m sure It will be okay.
Me:Hi Luna. uhhhh so I found a way to restore all of your memories. It’s called neurofeedback and it uses electromagnetic pulses to change the brain. I have it all worked out, now I just need to know if you will do it.
Luna:If it’s that important to you, I’m sure it’s important to me too. I’m in.
Victory. This was the first small win I have had in the three days. I do have to wait two weeks for the parts to arrive. But it is well worth the wait.
During the two weeks I go to school, put in my green noise to sleep, and repeat just like usual. Luna has been warming up again to me too, ever so slightly. It’s still not the same. I’m glad that they are doing this for me though. The steel sword that was trapped inside of my heart has been removed and the wound has been slightly mended. If this works, the wound will make a full recovery.
The parts finally arrive at my house. I hastily took the pile of boxes into my house. Then I tear into each one as I assemble the machine. It’s complicated but I finally put it all together. It’s a lot smaller than I thought it would be. It actually will fit in my backpack. This is good, I will be able to take it to Luna’s house and restore their memories there. Excitement fills my whole body, flowing through my toes to the ends of my hair.
Me:Parts just showed up and I put it all together. Can I come over tomorrow and do it?
Luna:Sure thing, that sounds great.
Me:Cool see you then.
Now it’s scheduled for tomorrow. I’m too excited to sleep tonight, so I take some melatonin tablets, get ready for bed, turn on the green noise, and slip into a slumber.
Luna lives about three miles away from me, but in a different direction than the school; this walk is about an hour long. I prefer the walk to Luna’s house though, because there is a park on the way where the grass is green, and there is a giant lake.
I go downstairs, greet my mom as usual and then head out the door. The sky looks dark, it’s glazed over by black clouds. It looks like it might rain today. I head back inside to grab my raincoat and my waterproof backpack. Everything that I need, Including my laptop that I use very rarely, are inside the backpack now. I walk back down the stairs and back onto my street. A light sprinkling of rain has started. The wind has kicked up too. I start marching on the path to Luna’s house.
During the fifteen minutes I have been walking, the rain has been getting worse and worse. The wind and rain are almost as bad as a hurricane now. Water pools on the ground in massive puddles, each one forming their own small whirlpool; it looks like something you would see on the news. I trudge on, and it feels as though I’m walking through sludge. The wind viciously rips into me as I’m pushed back in my walking. I must carry on through the rain though. My determination is driving me forward pushing me to get back to Luna.
I am at the side of the park closer to Luna’s house now, there is a levee blocking off the water from flash flooding where I am standing. Then I saw them. I told them that I was leaving before I left, but I didn’t think that they would come to meet me. They are radiating beauty amidst the rage of the storm. I start to walk towards them, bracing with every stop against the wind. Then I get knocked to the ground by a very heavy push of wind. I lay flat there for a couple seconds and then sit up. Luna is walking over to me.
“Are you okay?” Luna says over the noise of the storm
“Yeah Im okay, Just need a moment to stand back up”
“Okay let me know when you are ready to go again.”
“Okay, I will.”
After a few minutes I am ready to go again. The storm is slightly less intense but still strong enough to slow us down quite a bit. Luna and I don’t talk much during the remainder of the walk because the storm was too loud unless we are yelling. Then we finally arrive at Luna’s house. I step inside.
The lighting is warm, a soft orange glow. We go to Luna’s room, themed around pastel purple, it’s warm and cozy inside. Luna sits down on their bed and I sit next to them.
“This will take an hour to complete,” I explain, “and it will probably work best if you fall asleep during the process. Is that okay?” I say all this while pulling out the machine and a bluetooth speaker to play green noise while Luna sleeps.
“Yes, that should be fine,” Luna lays down prepared to sleep. I place all of the electrodes on their head. I start to run the program as I turn on my green noise. I can see their breaths calm as they slip into sleep. I take a seat in the one large pastel purple armchair after grabbing a towel and drying off a little bit.
I have to wait an hour now for the EMPs to change the part of Luna’s brain that is blocking off her memories. I study the room as I sit; Luna’s pastel purple bedspread, the matching wallpaper, the pastel purple desk.
Then I start to ponder if this is what Luna really wants. Do they want me to bring their memories back? I don’t know. What if they don’t? What if they wanted to lose them all along, and just forget, forget about everything?
The thoughts are closing in on me. Crunching into my brain. My breaths get heavy. It’s progressively harder and harder to breathe. I stand up, and I start pacing back and forth across the room. My hands fly up to my hair and start grasping into it. The negative thoughts about me, about Luna, about what they really want wash over me.
I need to calm down. I know I’m doing the right thing, I know Luna would have wanted this. But then again can I make this decision? No, I can’t think like this. I must go through with this, I need to do this, I need Luna.
I sit down and focus on my breathing. I need to calm down, I take a minute and collect myself. I calm down and check the timer. There’s only 10 minutes left. Time was flying by. I stayed in the armchair for the last 10 minutes. Then the timer goes off. The program auto stops and I’m waiting for Luna, who is still asleep, to wake up. Now I sit there, excited and anxious.
I decide to let Luna sleep, so I go downstairs to look for food. I start at the fridge, in which I find nothing. Then I look through all of the cabinets and find some Cheez-its. I go back to Luna’s room and settle back into the purple velvet arm chair. I start making my way through the Cheez-it box. I study Luna’s face as I grind cheez-its between my teeth, and take a moment to appreciate how beautiful they are to me.
Then, their eyes flutter open. I stand up, and so do they as they pull the electrodes off of their head. I pause the green noise, and their eyes catch mine. A silence fills the room, no green noise, no animals, the house wasn’t even making any noise. Luna takes a couple steps towards me.
“Did it work, do you remember everything again?” I sputter out
“Oh Scar,” Luna squeaks out, leaping into my arms and embracing me with a hug.
“I missed you Luna. I needed you back. I was so alone. Tell me what happened.”
“You know the storm that happened about a week ago? This side of the lake had a massive power outage while I was sleeping because of a flash flood that broke the levee. It destroyed the power line and made this side of the lake have a blackout. I listen to the green noise on my speakers that are hooked up to my P.C., and when the power outage happened my P.C. shut off causing my green noise to stop. I never meant-” she starts sobbing.
“Hey it’s okay Luna. It’s not your fault. Okay?” I say, running my fingers through their blond hair.
Luna then says through sobs and gasps for breath, “Scar, I can remember everything up to this point. The days where I didn’t remember anything I felt scared and lost. It was like I was detached from myself, and I didn’t feel anything; no joy, no sadness, no happiness, nothing. I never want that to happen ever again.”
“It won’t happen ever again,” I sound as reassuring as I can.
I hug Luna tight again and pull her into a kiss. The kiss goes on for a long time, and when we finally break it we were both smiling again, happy to have each other back, with our year and a half of memories together back too.
“So how early can you, uhh, you know, remember to?” I asked Luna, curious to know how far back the memory restoration really went.
Luna eagerly replied, “I can just remember back to the first day we started listening to green noise.”
“Oh I see, so your other memories must have been too far gone, maybe buried too deep within the brain to restore. Well, I don’t wanna keep fiddling around with people’s brains, so I guess we’ll never know for sure.”
“Speaking of which, my head really really hurts, and I’m really tired,” Luna said and I now recognize how exhausted they really look.
“Okay, I’ll go get you some water,” and leave the room. I walk down the stairs to the cupboard where all the glasses are stored beaming to myself on this victory. I then fill up a glass for Luna. When I get back to the room Luna is sitting on their bed.
“We need to make sure that this doesn’t happen again,” I say as I hand the glass of water to Luna.
“Yeah, we do for sure.”
“Maybe you could use your phone instead, Luna? And have wireless headphones, or a wireless charger so your phone won’t run out of battery in the middle of the night, but a power outage won’t matter because your phone doesn’t rely on the house’s electricity?”
Luna replies with a bright expression, “yes that should work, I will do that from now on. I’m going to take a nap now though because I’m so tired.”
“Okay, maybe message you later, and definitely see you tomorrow, I love you,” is my goodbye as I walk out Luna’s bedroom door. I almost bounce out of Luna’s house with joy and delight that we are finally reunited. I turn onto the gray street and start walking home.
On my walk home I walk past the lake, where there is a news crew. It looks like the levee breaking made it to the news. I mean, it must be a pretty big thing to happen.
I overheard one of the news reporters saying, “thank god nobody was hurt in this accident, we don’t know why the break was caused but we expect construction teams to be working to rebuild the levee by next week.”
This was a major victory for me, and had me riding high for the next couple of weeks. Yes, it did start off as heart wrenching, but at least we know; if something like this ever happened again it is fixable. I am just glad that Luna, despite not knowing or trusting me, wanted to help me. That’s one of the many reasons I love Luna, because no matter what, no matter who you are, they will always try to help you if you are in need of help.